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Batman's Funniest Quotes in Movies, Ranked

Batman is a serious and self-respecting man-hunter of the night. He is the answer to the crime that took his parents lives. A tragic character like the Dark Knight is sacrosanct in the minds of his most devout fans. He’s faced the most ruthless rogues’ gallery in comic book history. He considered the death of his ward and promising pupil Jason Todd, the second Robin, his greatest failure. Most of Batman’s time is spent brooding over his past as he strategizes and prepares for the future. Though the Caped Crusader has his dower world of Gotham to live in, he does manage a few bright spots in his war against crime. Taking on his own heroic persona like Zorro instills a childlike wonder, daring, innocence, and justice. Sometimes, Batman plays into the theatrics and absurdity of it all, giving us a laugh in the darkness.

When you’re the target of a genetically modified alien monster, there isn’t much else to say. Rather than accept his fate gracefully without a word, Batman uses his last breath to say what anyone would be thinking at this moment in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Doomsday was the villain that killed Superman; another flagship character like Batman was a potshot in comparison. Batman has cussed before, in the comics and within reason, but here it’s downright comedic timing above acting.

Batman is a man of few words. A silent Batman is a terrifying Batman. What’s more fearsome (and funny) is how he uses his choice words. In Batman, Joker’s thugs give chase to the Batmobile, where Batman is joined by Vicki Vale. The two make their way down an alley and before Batman gives Vicki his grapnel hook to reach safety, he asks her how much she weighs. After they escape, he assumes she’s heavier. Only Batman could be so technical and racy. It must be that restrictive Batsuit of his that makes him aggressively witty.

After saving the day, Batman seldom sticks around for a “goodbye” let alone a “thank you.” Batman Begins showed off the disappearing act but wasn’t addressed again until the third film, The Dark Knight Rises. Batman and Catwoman are fighting on a rooftop for Bruce Wayne’s fingerprints. Before Batman can get any more questions asked, Catwoman has run away into the night. Being the butt of the joke feels lonely, doesn’t it, Bats?

The joke technically isn’t Batman’s to claim, but he was the first one to say it. In his second year as a detective in The Batman, the black-clad hero and Lieutenant James Gordon get a lead on the Riddler. The quizzical villain leaves behind evidence with a calling card: a USB drive with incriminating photos of the Gotham City Mayor attached to the politician’s severed thumb. Deadpan and dark humor go together like Batman and the Batcave.

Related: Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham Trailer Finds the Dark Knight Battling Lovecraftian Forces

Batman & Robin is one big joke, but one gag stands above the rest. Batman and Robin get into a bidding war over Poison Ivy after she intoxicates them with her love pheromone. The distracted Dynamic Duo increase their offers until Batman whips out his Bat Credit Card (good thru Forever and accompanied by a cha-ching sound effect) and outbids Robin. The Boy Wonder was borrowing Bruce Wayne’s fortune to bid anyway, making this ordeal extra silly.

Related: An Insurance Lawyer Estimates the Costly Damage in the Batman Car Chase Sequence

The opening scene of Batman Forever was the perfect introduction to the vigilante and tie-in with fast food marketing. As Batman gets ready to drive off in the Batmobile, his faithful butler Aflred Pennyworth asks him if he would care for a sandwich. A busy Batman assures him that he will be eating out tonight instead. Imagine Batman ordering a Happy Meal in the drive-thru line to feel like a kid again.

In Batman Begins, the famous alley interrogation scene highlights that infamous guttural voice of Christian Bale. The most memorable line from this scene is “Swear to me!” but the overlooked line is a great piece of comedy. Batman questions Gordon’s corrupt partner Arnold Flass about a drug supply controlled by Scarecrow. When the upside-down police officer mentions a lack of cops at a drop-off point, Batman tells him he doesn’t care about labels as much as Flass cares about not throwing up his half-eaten hot dog.

Batman ups the ante in The Dark Knight, doing the nightly rounds in Gotham. He’s established himself as a legend, striking fear into those that prey on the fearful. He stops an illegal trade in a parking garage from going south when a wannabe vigilante dressed like Batman shows up firing a gun. The real Batman detains the criminals before delivering a line that will make cosplayers think twice before emulating him.

Batman doesn’t celebrate Halloween, but he has the Christmas spirit in Batman Returns. Penguin frames him with murder, Gotham’s finest pump him full of lead, and Batman falls on his back while Catwoman straddles him for an irresistible kiss. He’s suffered enough, but throws in a non sequitur to darken and poke fun at his situation even more. It’s the equivalent of “kill me now.”

The line that defined a generation happens to be the funniest. The Bright Knight runs every which way in Batman: The Movie to safely dispose of a bomb. Each direction he turns and faces a pedestrian, obstacle, or any number of innocent lives. The fatherly cadence of Adam West and the cartoonish danger of a bomb with a fuse that lasts longer than it should is comedy gold.



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