Pastor of Harvesters International Christian Centre, Bolaji Idowu has cautioned women against taking on the role of “builders” in their relationships.
Speaking during a recent church service in Lagos, the pastor said many women go beyond emotional support by trying to fix their partners’ personal and financial issues, which often leads to frustration.
He explained that women are called to support their men, not to bear the full burden of their problems or act as rescuers.
Idowu said that when women take up the role of fixing everything for their partners, they tend to shift from being supportive to becoming controlling, constantly trying to correct and manage them.
According to him, this often ends badly, as the romantic side of the relationship fades while the woman plays a role more like a parent than a partner.
He said: “You are not called to build your man; you are called to support your man. Some of you have turned into Bob the Builder ‘My car is bad,’ and you say, ‘I will fix it.’ ‘I can’t pay rent,’ and you respond, ‘I’ll pay for you.’ You are meant to support, not to be the builder.
“Once you become Bob the Builder, you also turn into Mother Theresa always correcting and trying to manage him. You pick up a struggling man, build him, and when he gets better, he tells you, ‘I don’t see us that way.’ That’s because you weren’t building the romantic side; you were busy fixing him.”
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