Nigerian media personality cum Nollywood actress, Toke Makinwa, has said being single and childless at age 40 is exhausting but it is essential to tell herself the truth.
Naijaonpoint recalls that Toke Makinwa married popular businessman, Maje Ayida in 2014, but their marriage ended in 2017.
In November 2024, there were reports that she had tied the knot with her rumoured longtime partner, Farouk Umar. But the actress swiftly debunked the rumours, claiming they were besties and the alleged wedding ceremony was her Thanksgiving event.
In the latest episode of her Toke Moments podcast, ‘I Am Growing Up, Not Old’, Toke Makinwa took a deep dive into her world at 40, admitting that the thought of being single and childless at 40 used to terrify her.
Toke said if she had remarried after her divorce, she would have been divorced again because the lesson never stops.
She said, “Regret is so exhausting. Get comfortable with your truth. The hardest thing I could say to myself is that I’m 40, single, and childless. I said it, and I did not die. That used to make me almost tear up. I used to feel like, ‘Oh my God, how am I 40 and I don’t have a child, single and lonely?
“If I’m completely honest with you guys, if I had gotten married again, I would be divorced again. Because the lessons just never stop. I’m grateful for the journey, I’m grateful for where I am, I’m grateful that I’m 40. Life is perspective. I could look at it like, ‘Oh my God, I’m 40, and I don’t have a child, I don’t have a husband. People have passed me.’ But I can look at it as, ‘I’m 40, I’m a boss, I’ve built an empire. I’m one of the most resounding voices in Africa. I have the love of family, I’m in great health, I love what I do, I’m not waking up miserable. I have the right amount of people that are supposed to be in my life.’ Sometimes, you need to sit with your truth. And once you sit with your truth, they say, you cannot shame the shameless.”
“Once you can tell yourself these uncomfortable truths—I’m not always going to be childless, I’m not always going to be without a spouse or a partner if I so desire it. What I desire, desires me, too. This is where I am. This is what it is right now. The moment you can tell yourself those ugly truths, they become beautiful. Sometimes, I’m happy and lucky that I get to experience life this way and learn my lessons this way. Eventually, when the person that’s made for me comes along, I know that I’m more mature, I know that I’m in a better headspace, and I know what it’s like to be in a relationship.”