‘
The death of former Citizen TV journalist Kimani Mbugua has sent shockwaves across Kenya, reopening conversations about mental health, substance abuse, and the silent pain many young people carry behind their smiles. His final words to his father—“Daddy, I am tired of this”—were not just a cry of exhaustion but a heartbreaking reflection of a man who had been fighting unseen battles for far too long.
Kimani’s story is one that many Kenyans watched unfold publicly. Once a bright, articulate journalist and media personality, his life took a downward spiral after he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a mental condition characterized by intense mood swings ranging from extreme highs to crushing lows. Despite periods of recovery and stability, Kimani struggled with relapses, which were reportedly worsened by substance abuse and negative peer influence. His father, Dedan Kimathi, shared that his son had been improving while undergoing treatment at a rehabilitation center in Mombasa before tragedy struck.
In his final note, Kimani did not explicitly state that he intended to end his life. Instead, his words carried undertones of farewell—a quiet surrender from a soul that had endured too much pain. “Daddy, I am tired of this,” he wrote, expressing a fatigue that went beyond the physical. It was the exhaustion of a mind constantly at war with itself, a battle that left him yearning for peace. His father interpreted the note as a subtle goodbye, filled with emotion and finality, though not a direct mention of death.
What stands out in this tragedy is the immense love and sorrow of a parent watching his child fade away despite countless efforts to help. Kimani’s father described him as a brilliant, disciplined, and kind-hearted young man who lost the fight against an illness that society still struggles to fully understand. He spoke with deep regret, wondering whether isolation, stigma, or the lack of adequate mental health support had contributed to his son’s decision. In his words, Kimani’s “mind was weak,” a statement that painfully underscores how mental illness can erode even the strongest spirits.
Kimani’s death has sparked widespread reflection on the state of mental health in Kenya, especially among young people. In a society where depression and mental instability are often dismissed as signs of weakness or spiritual failure, many suffer in silence.
Kimani’s story is a grim reminder that awareness and compassion are urgently needed—not just from families, but from institutions and communities as well. His passing should inspire more open conversations, more resources for mental health care, and less stigma around seeking help.
Despite the pain, Kimani’s family has chosen to focus on his legacy rather than his struggle. They describe him as someone who left “everything clean and perfect,” a man who, even in his last days, showed discipline, humility, and love. His father insists that Kimani left behind only “a trail of good,” a testament to the positive impact he had during his brief but vibrant life.
Ultimately, Kimani Mbugua’s story is a tragic reminder that mental illness is not a sign of failure—it is a condition that demands understanding, empathy, and consistent care. His final words echo as both a farewell and a plea—for compassion, awareness, and change. “Daddy, I am tired of this” may mark the end of his journey, but it should also mark the beginning of a broader national conversation on how Kenya treats those struggling with mental health challenges.