Porsha Wins the Peach and the Prenup: Judge Rules in RHOA Star’s Divorce Battle with Simon
Ladies, grab your wine glass and take a seat because the Real Housewives of Atlanta divorce courtroom drama has officially reached a verdict—and your girl Porsha Williams just secured the soft life settlement of the season.
Yes, sis is divorcing Simon Guobadia (again), and Media Take Out just got all the piping hot exclusive tea straight from the judge’s gavel. Let’s just say this: the prenup? Locked in. Simon’s excuses? Denied. Porsha’s glow-up? Still going strong.
The Judge Said: “We’re Not New Here”
In true Bravo-worthy fashion, Simon tried to argue that his recent deportation and financial setbacks (hello ICE detention) should cancel out the prenup. But the judge was like, “Boy, be serious.” Since the prenup took months to finalize, with both parties going back and forth on terms like it was a sneaker drop, the court said it’s valid and it’s enforceable.
Translation: That prenup is solid like a Chanel bag. No edits. No take-backs. No refunds.
Shady Media Behavior? Guilty!
Both Porsha and Simon were called out by the judge for being messy in the media. Because apparently, tweeting shade, going live with cryptic captions, and giving TMZ “anonymous tips” doesn’t exactly scream good faith behavior.
But let’s be honest—when has a Real Housewife ever handled a breakup quietly? We tune in for the chaos. The judge may frown upon it, but we love the content.
Let’s Talk Assets, Darling
Now to the juicy part: who’s getting what? Here’s how the settlement breaks down—and spoiler alert, Porsha is walking away with more than just her pride.
- The House: Porsha gets to stay in their home for 36 months, with Simon covering the mortgage, bills, and costs. That’s right—Simon’s paying to keep her living luxuriously… in the same house he used to share with her. Awkward!
- The Deed: The house deed must be transferred into a mutual trust with both their names on it. So technically, they’re still “partners” in property—but only until things get sorted.
- Refinancing Clause: If Porsha can’t refinance the home under her own name in those three years, it gets sold. But don’t worry—Porsha gets a generous slice of those proceeds. Because equity matters, babes!
- Lump Sum Payment: As part of the settlement, Porsha gets a cute one-time payment. The exact number hasn’t dropped yet, but we’re manifesting “six figures, easy.”
- Spousal Support: It turns out Simon had been paying Porsha a generous monthly amount: $40,000 during their marriage and $30K even when they were just dating. Whew! If love doesn’t work, at least luxury lingers. Whether that support continues as alimony is still TBD—but let’s just say, it’s giving “compensated emotional labor.”
- Legal Fees: And yes, Simon is also footing Porsha’s attorney bills. Because nothing says “I lost” like having to pay for your ex’s legal team too. Oof.
Final Thoughts: Porsha for President (of Divorce Court)
In the end, it’s looking like a real Housewives win for our girl Porsha. She’s walking away with security, coins, and a house where she can host all the champagne brunches her heart desires—on Simon’s dime.
The judge wasn’t here for the drama, but we absolutely are. Between the prenup win, financial finesse, and maintaining her peach through it all, Porsha just taught a masterclass in how to marry smart, exit smarter, and keep your luxury intact.
So here’s to Porsha—single, stunning, and still sipping from a Swarovski-studded flute.
And Simon? Enjoy Lagos, babe. Maybe next time, read the fine print.