Now that Detty December has clearly come to stay, can we not align environmental makeovers—clearing weeds, repainting faded surfaces, sweeping streets, fixing guardrails, mending the cracked kerbs, and planting greenery along our major arterial roads—with yuletide decorations as the icing on the
IT is that time of the year again when the city goes agog with festivities. Every day feels like a weekend; every weekend, a carnival. Parties multiply, music spills into the streets, and the city dons a festive smile.
But this is where it becomes both interesting — and absurd.
A road median with battered guardrails, overgrown weeds masquerading as glare shields, and years of neglect suddenly reappears — clad in glittering, shimmering lights. Overnight, decay is dressed in dazzle.
It feels like an unprepared groom, hurriedly dressed in borrowed finery for his wedding.
The groom had found his suitor long before yuletide. Funds to marry, to celebrate, and to decorate had been set aside. Yet, no attention was paid to the groom’s own well-being — his health, his posture, his dignity.
By day, without the cover of shimmering lights, the groom looks unkempt and embarrassed. By night, under the cloak of darkness and bright bulbs, he appears resplendent—if only briefly.
And so, I have an idea to sell.
Now that Detty December has clearly come to stay, can we not align environmental makeovers —clearing weeds, repainting faded surfaces, sweeping streets, fixing guardrails, mending the cracked kerbs, and planting greenery along our major arterial roads—with yuletide decorations as the icing on the cake?
In doing so, we would not merely be hanging lights; we would be transforming the city itself. At the same time, we would be offering visitors not just nightlife and noise, but a genuinely beautiful urban experience.
This satire may not quite do justice to grooms like Ajose Adeogun, Kingsway, Adeola Odeku or Mobolaji Bank Anthony — who remain well-groomed all year round, becoming the envy of all aspiring grooms. Little wonder that when yuletide arrives, they appear truly resplendent in their heavenly, decoration-to-the-hilt attire — emerging as meccas of sorts for our diasporan visitors.
Let Detty December give birth to a Spring-Clean December.
Moral of the Satire
▪︎ Seize the opportunities before us to clean up and restore our environment.
▪︎If it is broken, fix it. Do not paper over the cracks — investigate them, and fix them.